Polyester

POLYESTER

I wish I had more cardigans. I only have one, the one that I’ve had since high school that’s been mended a few times. I know at a certain point it will become too frail and return back to the dirt, but there is joy in keeping it until it’s end. The most beautiful things are the things that disappear. Like a flower that once bloomed will only stay that way for a few days until it starts to decompose. Elegance is tied to finality, and adjusting for the variables that weaken from time becomes an admirable fleet.

Textiles from the earth, spun into threads and from threads into garments. I plan to keep mine forever and more and more it becomes the basis of my decisions. It’s a hard rule to bend, especially since production has fallen to a slow drop that used to be an overflowing stream.

Seeing gives the ability to spot lies, and feelings confirm them.

My eyes see truth and searching for organic garments in stores and being disappointed once it’s held in my hand, strengthens my conviction that looking will never be enough to justify my choice. I need to know it is real, alive, and moved through struggle and transformation. It’s something synthetics have never convinced me of, not in the same way that cotton textiles can breathe with me.

Synthetics are the antitheses to natural fibers, and “man-made” makes me think of nuclear reactions. The line is blurred when fundamental structures are defined in the microcosm so all is actually natural. But we are here, not over there and to create synthetics is to bring closer illusions.

The benefit of choice begins with knowing what you want. Any choice made without a conclusion degrades in the quality of that decision. Intent without direction means being persuaded and hoping an invisible hand will make the choice for you. Allowing someone else make the decisions provides dependencies on aesthetics and the tendency to demoralize oneself. If you can’t define what you want than the slip of standards becomes all too common and leans in the opposite direction driving you away from any benefit.

I miss the well-made garments that were replaced for solely visual stimulation. I haven’t found a cotton cardigan. And my effort has become exhaustively extensive for what once was everywhere.